To this day, when I close my eyes and recall the shocking events from 10 years ago, somehow I'm still at a loss for words. Still cannot describe the event. Still.

The impact of the day is continued to be felt the world over. Every thing from the the economy to international relations has changed. Everything.

Ten years ago to this date and time, I was in a car, heading towards New York, when we saw the neon roadsigns telling us to avoid the city. A quick flip to the right radio station told us a plane had crashed into the first tower. I instantly reacted with "a suicide attack?" and people in the car laughed with a look of bewilderment on their face that I had come up with the option.

We pulled off the highway to a rest stop and watched CNN as the second plane crashed. Eyes wide open, complete silence in the crowd that had started to gathered there, unable to eat the fast food on their tables. Someone in our party turned to me and said 'Oh my god, you were right."

I have never wanted to be more wrong.

...

A moment of silence, for those who suffered, and for those who continue to suffer. May they have courage to withstand the years ahead.

They stood quietly.

It hummed downward.

35? Maybe 40, they both speculated.

Each was amused, and gave the other the stare down. 

Then the depth engulfed them.

Probably senile.

Definitely rash.

They laughed on the inside.

Bing!

The doors opened. One looked confused at the other.

He smiled, "The exit's here, follow me this way."

Each walked away with their perceptions changed. Just a little.

"At some point I took it personally. #fail"

I remember this tweet someone wrote before going offline for a few months very vividly. I'm not entirely sure why, but it just stuck. Maybe because it resonated with me somehow. Maybe..I'm not sure.

I saw this coming I think. It's not often that I lose my temper, in fact, it happens rarely enough that I cannot recall the last time I did it. But over the last month or so, I was brimming. I could feel it happening with every conversation - and it wasn't just one person. Today, I lost it altogether. I'm not happy about that. It may not have been a disaster, but it still was not good.

So today, we start again. A little rehash, a little time-alone, a little bit of introspection. The outcome, as before, will be the same: return to the patient side of me, the one that dominates without chaos, and the one who's shoulder people like to cry on because it is offered without judgement; one that would never expect a shoulder in return.

It is time.

...normally, I think, I'd have said a lot more. This time around, I'm chosing the quiet route. And hoping to keep my head steady.

12 has been brilliant though, no matter the downs. There is no doubt about that at all.

This transition has been among the tougher that the 10 before them, but here's to a better tomorrow, and a better 12 *cheers*

Happy 11.

It feels like yesterday, it also feels like years. How fast things change sometimes. How slow time passes other times.

You know when the Jack, Queen and King are all the same. Yup, that's the one!

They say '9' is a magic number, and I have no better way to describe the 9 :)

Eight comes as a learning experience. Time passes by, and with each passing moment comes a new, fresh experience. I salute you.

One kiss and boom, you're the only one to me.

I'm lucky. Very.

I also wish I could write so much more, yet somehow every month on the same date, I attempt to put it all in words which elude me. 

Eight months ago, it started with a kiss.

It's a magical number indeed :)

Happy 7!

Yes, I totally did not notice the date. However, it must be salvaged, and salvaged now. *Kicks things into execution* Sorry, but you can't say no.

The last two months have been nothing short of crazy. And not the good kind.

But this is me, starting over, trying to pull it all together. Vowing, over and over again, that next time it will be better.

I feel like a broken record.